The Brain Chemistry of Relationships – Why a Woman Never Forgets a Fight
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The Brain Chemistry of Relationships – Why a Woman Never Forgets a Fight

Does this happen to you? You have an argument with your woman and she brings up emotions and examples of things that happened five years ago. Does it seem a woman never forgets a fight? This is because a woman’s brain is wired a bit differently than a man’s. Her brain is made to recall details from all those years ago. I am here to explain why this is.

Sure, you might be like the rest of the men out there. Why is she so over dramatic? Well, she is not exactly being over dramatic so much as she is being more emotional than you are. This is because her brain is more active on the left side or left amygdala. This is the part of the brain that is connected to the hypothalamus.

The hypothalamus is related to emotions rather than actions. In addition, her amygdala is roughly two times smaller than yours is. This is why she reacts more sensitively to things around her and becomes emotional easily. The connection her brain has on the left side is what allows her to be in touch with her inner self. It is believed this is nature’s way of helping her prepare herself for events like pregnancy and childbirth.

What all this means is that women want to discuss feelings and emotions even during times of heated arguments. Men, on the other hand, want to go about solving problems. For instance, during an argument between a man and a woman, she remembers how she felt 10 years ago in the same kind of argument. She wants to go over these feelings again and tell the man how they relate to the present moment. She will go over incidents in the previous argument which will illustrate this.

In this scenario, the man is simply thinking about how in the world he can fix this situation. His twice-as- big amygdala is driving him to look for some workable solution to the problem they both are facing. His brain is wired to think that once the problem is solved his woman’s problem will be fixed, too.

Actually, she will hold on to her emotions a lot longer, especially if the man tries to be helpful with a solution or two. That might only make her more upset as she wants him to truly hear her out. Meanwhile, the man’s charged-up left hemisphere is moving ahead to yet another solution to the next problem. These differences in brain chemistry are at the core of relationship communication breakdowns.

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